The Next Step to Awesome

The day finally came for us to hear the results of my ONCA test, which would help me determine the need for Chemo Therapy and additional treatments.  Now as a teacher, I was feeling the heat that so many of my little people experience in my classroom waiting to find out how they did on their test.  This was a test I wanted a low score on however...not so much the case in my classroom. 
 

As we walked into the exam room and sat waiting for the doctor, I mentioned to Brent that I was super nervous and kept forgetting to breathe...a second later I got a text message from my sister that stated, "Breathe...I love you!"  I couldn't help but laugh which turned my nervous breathing into calmness.  This is life for me...laughter is my best medicine, not chemo so much, but laughter.....which will be a great side kick while I sit in a chemo lounge, surrounded by individuals who are fighting the fight courageously. 
 

My score on the test was borderline...of course it was!  Why make it a definite yes or no...well because that would be easy and not much in the world of cancer is easy. The silver lining in this situation was that yet again, I got to choose!  No telling this lady what to do!  After three weeks of waiting and healing, a lot of thinking goes into what you wish for the outcome to be.  Basically, we went in knowing our plan of action, lets face it, it wouldn't be like me to do it any other way! 
 

The first thing I received when Dr. Medgyesy came in the room was a big hug...exactly what this hug crazy person needed.  Followed by, "How's my little trooper doing?"  I was taken back by this statement a little, but I quickly remembered that I was probably on the younger side of her patient population. This was followed by a review of my genetic testing that came back negative for the genes and normal with no mutations...so my weirdness is a learned trait, not genetic...there's hope for my kids...but only on mommy's side of the gene pool...they're at a total loss from their father's side...ha!  This testing ensured that I did not pass on any genes to my daughter that might put her at risk...thank you again, Lord.
 
Next, we talked ONCA testing and I scored an 18...bummer sort of!  Tough because it wasn't black and white, but in the cancer world there really isn't too much of that...mostly gray areas.  We talked Estrogen blocker meds for the next ten years...yikes! Ten years puts my daughter into her senior year of high school...seriously dude?  Bad part is I have to remember to take it every day for ten years...not so good at that part, but we have apps for that, right...I heart technology...and alarm reminders!  The sergeant, known as my husband, will also keep me in line.  

The second part was the dreaded chemo talk..yucko!  Then Dr. Medgyesy said four treatments...can you believe that???...only four treatments...I'm so lucky and overwhelmingly blessed!  It's all those prayers and thoughts from all of you...best news this girl could get.  I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH! So, I will get a treatment every three weeks for the next 12 weeks.  

Basically, I will go in and relax, sit, talk (what I do best), for three hours.  The first day, I was told I will feel fine, day two could wear me out a little, day three and four are usually tough, and day five I will get my strength back.  Doesn't that sound like a vacation? So my first treatment is scheduled for July 15th...then that week I will be taking notes and seeing how my body responds to the treatment.  This will help me determine what to expect for the following three...but I think they will progressively get more difficult as my body is weakened. 
 
My plan for fighting these four treatments, is starting with trust in God, positive attitude, smiles and laughter, more of that, and knowing that "awesome" is in sight.  That has been our saving grace.
 
Brent and I get chemo educated on July 9th, our 8th wedding anniversary, which will be one for the books.  My first chemo treatment will be on July 15th, so until then...

The Road to Recovery

So....it's been 21 days since my surgery, 18 days since I found out no radiation, 17 days since I got my drains removed, 14 days since my post-op with my plastic surgeon and he said all is well, 9 days since my post-op with my surgeon and again he said it all looked good and 1 week that I have been anxiously awaiting my next doctor's appointment.  You might think I'm crazy...Lord knows my husband thinks I am.  What gets this lady going is not knowing or being constantly reassured that my body is healing correctly and that all of the weird pains, numbness, cramping, etc. is NORMAL!  I know I should totally trust my P.E. teacher husband's diagnosis and prognosis of my pain and feelings. After all, he did take a lot of science courses in college.  Right now, all this lady wants is to go to the doctor and get the words from their mouth saying, "oohh, aahhh, do this", or "I see this might be bothering you, let's see if this will help" or "you can stop worrying, Amy.  Everything looks great!" Those would be words to my ears that would sooth my worrying mind.  I'm convinced that's why doctor's get paid the big bucks....they know what we want to hear and even if it isn't great news, it is a step in the right direction. I am incredibly grateful for that.
 

 Okay, enough babbling about my last week of no appointments and on with how we are spending our time healing.  Although this time should be spent relaxing and enjoying some freedom, we have managed to keep it as busy as possible because "hey, you never know when we will get time to finish my honey-do list (wink, wink)."  Poor Brent!  I don't think the man has had a moment of rest for the past seven days.  If he wasn't laying flooring for his wife, he was golfing (not so bad),  he was taxiing our family from here to there, to t-ball games, to playdates, to the pool, etc.  That's right, I said laying flooring....isn't that what all cancer patients dream of doing on their week off from doctor's appointments?  I'm pretty sure the Mr. didn't sign up for this job, but boy did he do amazing work.  Honey, I love the floor and cannot thank you enough for finishing it up before Christmas...oh wait that's how I do home projects.  I, on the other hand, did a great job of handing out demands, resting (one large perk to this recovery stage), attending play dates and pool dates all for the socialization of my children (ha!), shuttling my children from one place to another, and desperately searching for clothing that is comfy and loose.  This is me preparing for my huge chest...ha ha!  No thank you!
Well, I am currently awaiting my next  appointment on Monday to get these expanders expanding...if you know what I mean.  I feel a little excited, but super, crazy nervous because let's face it...this body hasn't ever seen anything large in the area of my chest...except for at a Halloween Party quite a few years back...good times at the Hilim's house.  I believe we went as Captain Underpants and my made-up character Mistress Under wire...bummer for you...I can't find a picture any where...good for Brent and I.
On Thursday, we have THEE appointment with my oncologist, Dr. Medgysey.  This, my friends, is the big daddy of appointments.  This one is when I find out my chances of needing chemotherapy.  This one is where I show breast cancer who is BOSS!  Until then.....

SURGERY DAY

 

In preparation for my surgery day, I had my family over for dinner.  It was a great way for me to see and talk with everyone.  The night before, I prepared my suitcase and most importantly packed a picture of my babies, knowing that it would be the happy place for me to go in times of pain.  The morning of surgery came oh so early and I was sure to call my bestie, Ann Marie, as well as, my sister, Shauna, whom I couldn’t wait to see after my surgery.  I can’t forget my discussion and amazing text from my buddy, Kevin.  This text was sent with intentions of being read on the morning of my surgery as soon as I woke up to deter my mind from fear and negativity.  This message helped me focus on only the positive thoughts and blessings I have in my life.  It did just that, so a humongous thank-you to Kevin. 

As I was getting ready to leave for the hospital, I went to see my sweet babies sound asleep in their beds.  I went into Rylan’s bedroom, kissed him a couple million times and told him I loved him.  To my surprise, he woke up long enough to give me a big squeeze, a smooch, and to say, “I love you, Mommy.”  I continued to go into my daughter, Payton’s bedroom, kissed her another couple million times, and told her I loved her.  Again, she woke up to say, “I love you so much, Mommy and I will see you after your surgery.”  Now as typical as this may seem for most children, we are not “morning people” so the pure fact that my children didn’t wake up screaming and throwing fitskies, is a pure miracle on its own.

As I arrived at the Surgical Center at PVH, I was greeted by my Dad (the earliest riser I have ever known), and my mom-in-love (a borrowed term that fits her perfectly) Juli.  She was so sweet to wear her fluorescent pink pedicure that I can’t help but give her a hard time about and her pink kisses purse just for me.  I am loved!  I shared one of my favorite songs with my entourage, Keith Urban’s new single “A Little Bit of Everything”, which I was quickly reprimanded by the sergeant Brent that there was a cellphone silencing sign posted on several walls in the waiting room.  Didn’t stop me!  Love that song and Keith Urban…its okay, Brent knows I have a crush.

Soon they took Brent and I back to get me prepped and the anxiety started to elevate, but then things happened so quickly, that I didn’t have a chance to go through with an entire attack.  Lucky them!  Brent can always sense when the anxiety is running high so he held my hand the whole time and continued to ask all the questions that I couldn’t focus on because I was trying to keep my head on straight.  I remember having so many people, doctors, nurses, questions, thoughts, and business going on that my mind was a blur.  I think the last thing I remember before they took me back was a prayer from Pastor Scott Kissel.  I closed my eyes, listened to the blessings that he spoke of, and thanked the dear Lord for surrounding me with everyone, with love, with happiness, and the most incredible blessings I could have ever dreamed of having.

 

I went back for surgery and the dream team did their thang.  I don’t remember a lick.  This means that the Anesthesiologists did a phenomenal job and I want to thank Dr. Fife for coming in to assist and checking on me several times during recovery.  If he only knew how reassuring that was for me.  Now, about that dream team,  Dr. Dickinson was in charge of removing the nasties from my body along with the defective pair of breasts (good riddens).   Oh yeah, and my pregnancy with my sweet son left me with an umbilical hernia that was corrected at the same time.  I figure, go in and fix it all while my deductible is met, right?  Then came Dr. Boustred’s part.  He got the pleasure of inserting tissue expanders and making sure the new pair was going to look decent.  I say decent because let’s not kid ourselves. 

 

As far as I knew, it took about 15 minutes and all I wanted was my husband.  What a baby, right?  No seriously, all I wanted was to see Brent, who was sitting in the waiting room with my family for 5 hours, while making sure  family and friends were being updated on the surgery through text messages.  What is wrong with me?  Yes, I adore my husband more than anyone knows. They finally rolled me up to my room and the first face I saw was my husband’s, which made my day.  I also have a few apologies to make.  There was a young man pushing my bed that was wearing a Chicago Bear’s lanyard and let’s just say I didn’t let him live it down for being a Bear’s fan.  Then there was my request for an upgrade in rooms, and well, I was on a roll.  Brent couldn’t keep up with my silly requests, humor, embarrassment, etc.  I ended up staying in the hospital for two nights to make sure that my sensitive tummy could handle the meds, but my healing was going great and quickly according to the nurses and doctors. 

 

Best part of the whole stay was the BACON, my visitors, and the enormous amount of flowers that arrived.  Just for the books, my nurse said I was an excellent patient and asked for a visit when I’m feeling better.  I love you too, Angela. 

Overall, the whole experience at PVH was a tremendous success, blessed with amazing doctors and nurses, and a comfortable stay. I only attempted to pass out a couple of times…had to keep the peeps on their toes.  More to come on the recovery soon…….

Kona Ice and Texas Roadhouse!!

Here are some pictures of the Kona Ice fundraiser that was held at my school last week and the Texas Roadhouse fundraiser that Brent's basketball parents from Fort Collins High School organized at their basketball tournament last weekend!  All I can say is WOW!!  Also, I'm home from the hospital, so my next blog will be about my surgery..............