The Longest 3 Days

The next few days were long, but necessary. After hearing of my diagnosis, I had a million things running through my mind.  Most of them were curious, positive thoughts and questions, but a few negative that I choose not to dwell on.  I would say the most important was “what stage am I at, has it spread to any lymph nodes, what is treatment going to be and for how long”….and on and on and on.   My husband on the other hand, was staring at the computer for the next few days trying to figure out what the information we had meant, and needless to say, deciphering medical mumbo jumbo with the help of the Internet was probably the least helpful tip we learned.  Well, after all, the Internet only speaks the truth, so as far as he knew it was only a matter of time before who knows what would happen to his wife.  At the same time, I had listened to the doctor and completely stayed off the computer because I’m a freak that takes everything seriously and still at this point have only tapped into the video interviews of Guilianna Rancic.  She truly is an inspiration to me in more than one way.  Brent has learned that the less I know, the better, so he continually reassured me that “we caught it early”, but I know he was just saying that to make me feel at ease.  The rest of the weekend was spent on the phone explaining to our family and friends what was going on.  Once again, I think we are going to need new carpet as I like to pace in the living room…..Brent will often set up detours or hurdles for me to walk around to change my path….I love that man.

Let’s just say that neither of us slept very well that weekend, as every time I woke up, Brent was awake or moving around.  The next day, we tried to stay busy to keep our minds off of it.  We ran errands, went to lunch, visited some friends, but in the back of our minds all day was the “appointment”.

On Sunday, Brent took Rylan to a birthday party, so Payton and I went down to Inspiration Park to rollerblade and play.  As we pulled up, the parking lot and street was crammed with cars and there were people all over the place.  I lucked out and got a parking spot.  As we got out of the car, we looked up to the sky in amazement…….it was a “kite festival” of some sort.  I’ve never seen so many kites in the air at the same time in all of my life.  Being diagnosed with cancer really makes you appreciate the little things in life and this was one of those moments that my daughter and I reveled in for a while. 

On Sunday night, I emailed the Zach Staff to let them know what was going on.  This was very difficult for me as Zach is our 2^nd home.  My doctor told me to take Monday off, to help ease the stress of my news but little does she know, I love my little people and had to get my first grade fix, as well as my fix from my support team at Zach.  As crazy as it may seem, teaching is my passion and my fuel and this cancer WILL NOT stop me from teaching my students every day that I possibly have the strength to do so.  I asked the staff to send me a sweet smile or a hug and that would be perfect.  That night, my email was flooded with support and encouragement and that’s when I realized just how much support Brent and I had.  That Monday was emotional and uplifting, but also kept my mind off of my Tuesday appointment. 

 

Tuesday finally came. Brent and I took our kids to school and went and had breakfast.  Through the weekend, I realized that the only bad news the doctor could give us was that it’s not treatable.  Any other news would be “good” news.  We walked into the Cancer Center and of course Brent started making wise cracks.  He knows that when I’m nervous I need funny and he does funny really well.  That is by far one of my favorite things about him.  I can look at him and crack up…not because he is funny looking, but he is my pure goodness.  I believe his comment was about how “it looks like we are at a bingo parlor”.  You do get some stares from the waiting room patients that are probably thinking “those two are way too young to be in here”.  After doing some paperwork and getting a free caramel hot chocolate (perk of being a cancer patient), we went into the room and waited for Dr. Medgyssey to come in.  She walked into the room and I don’t think Brent was breathing.  The 1^st thing she said is that it looks like we caught this early.  This is when Brent let out the biggest sigh anyone has ever heard.  I had to chuckle with a tear in my eye.  It was at this point that I realized just how much stress Brent was carrying but not sharing.  This was the BEST “good” news that we could have gotten.  She informed us about our options and we both were leaning toward a double mastectomy whether I needed it or not.  After meeting with Dr. Medgyssey, she sent me to get some blood work done……let’s just say I’d rather do another mammogram than get a needle poked into me.  I don’t love blood draws! The sweet nurses at the lab next door let me lay down, so I wouldn’t experience another dramatic event like from my past. 

 

When we finally left the Cancer Center, we headed to our favorite lunch spot…..South China.  I hardly ate my lunch as I was too busy texting and calling people with the “good” news.  The next day would be my appointment with Dr. Dickinson, the Surgeon, this would be the next step on my “Road to Awesome”………………..