Sunday, August 25, 2013

Gearing up for Round 3


   The past weeks have been filled with busy schedules, recovery from my first cold of the school year, back to school excitement, the threat of West Nile lingering, and preparing for a hot date this Friday!


    I knew that with school starting our lives would go from relaxed and a bit lazy, to hold onto your hats...or wig for me! As Brent and I headed back to work, I had some tough times...introducing myself to the staff and stating one bucket list item proved much more difficult than it would seem, but bucket lists have become all too important and real in my life.  Honestly, I know some things I want to do, but until you have to commit to them and then the realization that you have to make them happen...very real!  Scary real! Up until this point, I believe that all of the prayers that I have said, that friends have said, that all of you have said on my behalf, have truly protected me from the fear of reality from this nasty sickness.  After my diagnosis, that fear has subsided.  Although my feelings and emotions completely took over at the staff meeting, it put life into perspective.  It's really precious and each day counts.  One item on my bucket list that I shared was to attend the CMA Awards with the love of my life...that's Brent, just in case you were wondering!  It will happen, that I know!  Not sure when, but sooner rather than later, that's for sure!  And, I can't wait!
 


    So we are all back to school, which begins my daily school talk conversations with my kids.  Payton started 2nd grade and my little man started Kindergarten this year, which is beyond exciting...my kids are back in one building=one pick-up and drop-off spot...hallelujah!  I was chatting with Ry about his new friends and who he played with at recess.  His reply was, " I played with Network."  Yes, you just read that right, no typo!  Of course, my reply was, "his name is Network???"  You never know this day and age.  So I followed up with, "well, who else did you play with?"  "Spiky hair!" he said. At this point in the conversation I was nearly rolling on the floor.  So me being the resourceful type, I went to our class list that was sent in the back to school letter.  Let me reassure you, there is no child named Network, but there is a little friend named Edward. I thought I was going to die laughing..forget cancer!  I still have not figured out Spiky Hair, but I will get to the bottom of it very soon. Too stinkin' funny, unless you know my husband...Rylan is an exact replication with the exception of my dimple...I'm pretty sure that's the only contribution I had.
    With school comes the threat of sickness and unfortunately it already got me good.  I received my first gift of germs on Day 6 of Round 2.  I have no idea where I picked it up, but the bottom line is I quickly realized just how weak my immune system is.  A simple cold without antibiotics was annihilating.  I got into my doctor as soon as possible and got some relief. My new meds had their own set of side effects...add those to what I already am up against and you start to feel defeated...that is until they start to work and then I felt like a whole new woman...watch out world!




As I started the new school year, I realized how important it would be for me to wash my hands like a person that is OCD about germs...wait that hasn't really changed too much from before my diagnosis.  I struggle with anxiety around illness, go figure!  My first grade team has been beyond understanding about my germaphobe ways and has committed to having the entire grade level wash hands after lunch...such a huge relief!    I cannot express in words my gratitude for this amazing group of women.  Not only is work a needed dose of adult humor, but it's keeping the time ticking to get through my last two rounds as quickly as possible.  Brent and I also found that going back to work meant that we would be surrounded by our amazing and supportive staff and community.  Zach has been our home for the past 11 years and we truly couldn't have made it to this point in our journey without them.  Whether it was a simple hug from a parent, a meal brought to our house, a card from former Zach families or staff being there for Brent and I every step of the way, we can't thank you enough.


    As for the little people in my classroom, they are incredible.  On the first day of school my class got to interview me, which was a great opportunity for me to inform them of my illness...and my baldness.  If I could do it again, I would definitely video tape that discussion.  The kids were so incredibly sweet and astonished by the thought that I had no hair.  Some of them were over eager to see my bald head, while others were more reluctant.  I'm not sure if they understood that when my wig was removed, there was skin..not brains.  That's my first grade thinking for you...I love this age!  I had my back to school night and managed to share a quick version of my story...get this, without crying!  I know, it was so exciting! I think I told my parents how proud Brent would be of me 4 times in less than an hour.  My apologies for my redundancy, but it was a major accomplishment.  The crying is so embarrassing. I know it is acceptable, but I'm not a cute cryer...nobody wants to share that with a large group of people.


    The next hurdle we have been confronted with is the vile threat of West Nile virus that is being spread by one of my worst enemies, mosquitos.  They have loved me since I can remember.  Of course, I have been more cautious with my anxiety ridden belief in protection from illness, but when your surgeon makes a special visit to your back to school night to give you a warning, it is a little alarming.  I left feeling so incredibly lucky to have an amazing doctor caring for me, but even more important, I made a plan on how to keep my family and I safe from the little boogers.  Mosquitos beware!


    In the last couple of weeks, I experienced many changes in my hair.  Originally, I was told by my doctors not to cut my hair shorter than 3/4 inch.  So I followed the orders...take note, I did NOT love it...I felt a little insecure about how I looked.  Then I got to a point that my hair wasn't really falling out anymore, which left me with a fuzzy buzz cut of hair scarcely scattered across my scalp.  Finally, I was to the point that I could shave it to give me more of a bald look, and we did it.  Thank goodness!  Since I shaved my head, I feel much more confident and I have enjoyed my reflection in the mirror a little more. Along with the fact that my showers are much quicker.... sometimes I stand there and think there has to be something else that I need to do. I snapped some fun photos of my wigs and royal baldness along with my family...super funny!


        
As this week approaches, I have my third round of chemotherapy on Wednesday (Brent is going to Blockbuster today to get us a movie to watch because daytime tv is horrid...except for Ellen) and a hot date with the two men in my life... Brent and Keith. That's right, we have tickets to Keith Urban at Red Rocks on Friday.  He is my favorite...I love watching him rock out on the guitar...or maybe I just love watching him...he is handsome.  Sending some love to my Aussie friend from "down under" and thanking her for sharing such an incredible entertainer with the world. Friday can't get here soon enough! 


Sunday, August 11, 2013

Half way there!!





 
It has been a busy couple of weeks.  I got a surprise visit from my best friend for a few days which took me by total surprise.  We spent time catching up, shopping, getting my wig cut and styled just right, more shopping, and having a lot of really great laughs together.  I can't thank her family enough for letting me borrow her for a few days of fun.  You are too kind.

 

Following my visit came the 14th day after my first round of chemo therapy.  Most people have no idea what that means, but I was told that on day 14 my hair would start falling out...and it did...like clock work!  Now, it wasn't coming out in big chunks or anything, but my scalp was sore and every time I would touch my hair a little would come out.  At that moment, I had Brent shave my head.  He is such a trooper and did it with no hesitations, even though he knew that I would be entering the next stage of what cancer does to a person....It takes away your hair..."not cool, Robert Frost".  After he finished shaving my head, I had a moment of truth when I looked in the mirror, with half inch long hair.  Lets just say, I had several emotions going through my head...I felt courageous for taking the leap and fear of what I had just done to my hair, that would take many, many months to regrow. It also helped that Brent went to get his hair cut a few days earlier and much to my surprise, he came home with his head shaved.  All I can say is "whoa power alleys".  As for shaving my head, in the words of my husband, "it's only temporary!"  I wish I truly felt this way all of the time, but its just not the case.  The shock of my new look wore off quickly, but I was now at the "eager to be bald" stage.  I made a goal for all of my hair to be gone by my birthday, but that didn't happen.  What's so funny is that my blonde hairs are the ones that I have left and all of the brown hair is gone, so no more blonde jokes, cause they are tough cookies!.  At this point, I look a little like a Chia pet.  My scalp is very visible, but still covered by the few hairs I have remaining.  I still hope to be completely bald soon since this look doesn't exactly strike me as one to show off, if you know what I mean.


Brent's stylist giving him a Mohawk before shaving his head!




Payton even got in on the action!

 Amidst all of the hair loss drama, I decided to go ahead and celebrate my 34th birthday.  I received so many birthday wishes and greetings from so many people and I can't thank you enough.  You sure know how to make a girl feel special.  On my birthday, I took it easy and just focused on the little things.  We ate breakfast at the Silver Grill, followed by play time at the City Park with friends, a trip to the Library, dinner at BJ's Brewhouse, and finished with a drive up to Horsetooth.  Nothing overly glamourous, but in my eyes, it was perfect.  I love watching my little people do anything, spending quality time with my family, friends, and my husband, and laughing, a lot! 
The day following my birthday, I geared up for Round 2.  Brent and I went in early for my blood draw and infusions and was joined by my friends.  My friend, Tara, came down and visited for awhile, which made my day.  My friends Cate and Angie came to sit with me while I finished up my infusions.  We sat, talked, discussed the serious and the Bachelorette (which is very serious), laughed about everything, and well, just plain enjoyed our time together.  Although chemo seems so tough, it really is very relaxing and so far has been very enjoyable. 

Now this last week, I was busy trying to stay busy.  I have a classroom to get ready, which is looking pretty good.  I decided to exert some energy this time around, more so than the last time, to see how my body would react.  This was an experiment to see which days I would definitely need coverage once we head back to school...next week.  What I found is that Day 1, 2, and 3 are totally doable.  Day 4 is about a half day of rest and Day 5 would be best if I could only relax enough to sleep.  That's a struggle!  However, I am looking forward to knowing that I only have two more rounds left and then I am officially done with this Chemo business.

I wanted to mention again how incredibly thankful I am for all of the meals that people have been bringing and the help people have given us to watch our little ones.  It's been so wonderful and the meals are amazing.  I'm not quite sure what I will do when I have to cook for my family again.

As you all know, school is around the corner and I am very excited to get started.  Sounds crazy, I know, but the sooner we get started, the quicker my treatments will be a thing of the past.  Time flies when we are having fun!  Speaking of fun, I can't wait for the next season of the Bachelor as Juan Pablo is easy on the eyes....and that accent...and his....ok, I'll stop!  Oh yeah, and we share a birthday...that's a great birthday gift if you ask me.