The
past weeks have been filled with busy schedules, recovery from
my first cold of the school year, back to school excitement, the threat
of West Nile lingering, and preparing for a hot date this Friday!
I knew that with school starting our lives would go from relaxed and a
bit lazy, to hold onto your hats...or wig for me! As Brent and I headed
back to work, I had some tough times...introducing myself to the staff
and stating one bucket list item proved much more difficult than it
would seem, but bucket lists have become all too important and real in
my life. Honestly, I know some things I want to do, but until you have
to commit to them and then the realization that you have to make them
happen...very real! Scary real! Up until this point, I believe that all
of the prayers that I have said, that friends have said, that all of
you have said on my behalf, have truly protected me from the fear of
reality from this nasty sickness. After my diagnosis, that fear has
subsided. Although my feelings and emotions completely took over at the
staff meeting, it put life into perspective. It's really precious and
each day counts. One item on my bucket list that I shared was to attend
the CMA Awards with the love of my life...that's Brent, just in case
you were wondering! It will happen, that I know! Not sure when, but
sooner rather than later, that's for sure! And, I can't wait!
So we are all back to school, which begins my daily school talk
conversations with my kids. Payton started 2nd grade and my little man
started Kindergarten this year, which is beyond exciting...my kids are
back in one building=one pick-up and drop-off spot...hallelujah! I was
chatting with Ry about his new friends and who he played with at
recess. His reply was, " I played with Network." Yes, you just read
that right, no typo! Of course, my reply was, "his name is Network???"
You never know this day and age. So I followed up with, "well, who
else did you play with?" "Spiky hair!" he said. At this point in the
conversation I was nearly rolling on the floor. So me being the
resourceful type, I went to our class list that was sent in the back to
school letter. Let me reassure you, there is no child named Network,
but there is a little friend named Edward. I thought I was going to die
laughing..forget cancer! I still have not figured out Spiky Hair, but I
will get to the bottom of it very soon. Too stinkin' funny, unless you
know my husband...Rylan is an exact replication with the exception of my
dimple...I'm pretty sure that's the only contribution I had.
With school comes the threat of sickness and unfortunately it already
got me good. I received my first gift of germs on Day 6 of Round 2. I
have no idea where I picked it up, but the bottom line is I quickly
realized just how weak my immune system is. A simple cold without
antibiotics was annihilating. I got into my doctor as soon as possible
and got some relief. My new meds had their own set of side effects...add
those to what I already am up against and you start to feel
defeated...that is until they start to work and then I felt like a whole
new woman...watch out world!
As I started the new school year, I realized how important it would be
for me to wash my hands like a person that is OCD about germs...wait
that hasn't really changed too much from before my diagnosis. I
struggle with anxiety around illness, go figure! My first grade team
has been beyond understanding about my germaphobe ways and has committed to
having the entire grade level wash hands after lunch...such a huge
relief! I cannot express in words my gratitude for this amazing group
of women. Not only is work a needed dose of adult humor, but it's
keeping the time ticking to get through my last two rounds as quickly as
possible. Brent and I also found that going back to work meant that we would be surrounded by our amazing and supportive staff and community. Zach has been our home for the past 11 years and we truly couldn't have made it to this point in our journey without them. Whether it was a simple hug from a parent, a meal brought to our house, a card from former Zach families or staff being there for Brent and I every step of the way, we can't thank you enough.
As for the little people in my classroom, they are incredible. On the
first day of school my class got to interview me, which was a great
opportunity for me to inform them of my illness...and my baldness. If I
could do it again, I would definitely video tape that discussion. The
kids were so incredibly sweet and astonished by the thought that I had
no hair. Some of them were over eager to see my bald head, while others
were more reluctant. I'm not sure if they understood that when my wig
was removed, there was skin..not brains. That's my first grade thinking
for you...I love this age! I had my back to school night and managed
to share a quick version of my story...get this, without crying! I
know, it was so exciting! I think I told my parents how proud Brent
would be of me 4 times in less than an hour. My apologies for my
redundancy, but it was a major accomplishment. The crying is so
embarrassing. I know it is acceptable, but I'm not a cute cryer...nobody
wants to share that with a large group of people.
The next hurdle we have been confronted with is the vile threat of West
Nile virus that is being spread by one of my worst enemies, mosquitos.
They have loved me since I can remember. Of course, I have been more
cautious with my anxiety ridden belief in protection from illness, but
when your surgeon makes a special visit to your back to school night to
give you a warning, it is a little alarming. I left feeling so
incredibly lucky to have an amazing doctor caring for me, but even more
important, I made a plan on how to keep my family and I safe from the
little boogers. Mosquitos beware!
In the last couple of weeks, I experienced many changes in my hair.
Originally, I was told by my doctors not to cut my hair shorter than 3/4
inch. So I followed the orders...take note, I did NOT love it...I felt
a little insecure about how I looked. Then I got to a point that my
hair wasn't really falling out anymore, which left me with a fuzzy buzz
cut of hair scarcely scattered across my scalp. Finally, I was to the
point that I could shave it to give me more of a bald look, and we did
it. Thank goodness! Since I shaved my head, I feel much more confident
and I have enjoyed my reflection in the mirror a little more. Along
with the fact that my showers are much quicker.... sometimes I stand
there and think there has to be something else that I need to do. I
snapped some fun photos of my wigs and royal baldness along with my
family...super funny!
As this week approaches, I have my third round of chemotherapy on
Wednesday (Brent is going to Blockbuster today to get us a movie to watch because daytime tv is horrid...except for Ellen) and a hot date with the two men in my life... Brent and Keith.
That's right, we have tickets to Keith Urban at Red Rocks on Friday.
He is my favorite...I love watching him rock out on the guitar...or
maybe I just love watching him...he is handsome. Sending some love to
my Aussie friend from "down under" and thanking her for sharing such an
incredible entertainer with the world. Friday can't get here soon
enough!
